10 Guidelines from God

Effective immediately, please be aware that there are changes YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. Please, follow these 10 guidelines

1. QUIT WORRYING:

Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:

Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

3. TRUST ME:

Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all! ! your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE:

Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking  care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME:

I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because  you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH:

I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me; you wouldn't want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet! ! your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just  doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:

You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven't heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:

I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse  experi ences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND:

Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical.  Please, know I! ! love each of your differences.

10. LOVE YOURSELF:

As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only -- to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself.  It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me.

Don't ever forget that.

 

Self Esteem: Why Self Esteem Matters

A number of years ago I worked for one of the UK's top IT companies -- a global player. We were meeting to discuss a major bid, and the room was filled with people who didn't meet often -- the most senior managers from a number of divisions. There were very few middle tier managers in the room, almost exclusively senior managers who were accustomed to being 'top dog'. The atmosphere in that room was almost tangible. I wanted to bottle the air and analyse it later -- I had never experienced such naked power, and it dawned on me in that moment that we are almost blind to the status signals we transmit.

That meeting was an epiphany, and led to me becoming a hypnotherapist with a particular interest in researching confidence and self esteem. Because what I discovered in that company, and in many companies I have assisted subsequently, was the startling fact that an individual's self-esteem is a reliable indicator of how far they will progress in the organisation. Some technical geniuses can buck the trend, but they are very rare. For most of us, our ability to influence decision-making is precisely limited by our self esteem.

Why does this matter? It matters because the person with the greatest self esteem is not necessarily the right person to be making the key decisions. We have all suffered foolish bosses. Perhaps we have all wondered how on earth they reached such positions of seniority, given their obvious shortcomings. If you will excuse the bluntness: that incompetent boss is there because you haven't yet been sufficiently convincing. Your performance is perhaps the least important aspect on which you will be judged; what matters is your status in the group.

Status is a fascinating topic. We communicate our status constantly, primarily through body language and voice tone. This communication is unconscious; it is felt rather than known or consciously controlled. The way in which you behave reflects your self perception of status. This is either accepted or challenged by the people around you. A dominant person (relative to you) will cause you to back off from a challenge. A submissive person (again, relative to your own status) will make it easy for you to project your will.

And so we come to the nub. We should all seek to develop our self esteem, not because of the personal benefits which will flow from this personal growth -- career enhancement, improved love life etc -- but because we have a duty to ourselves and our communities. Until and unless we step up to the plate, our communities will remain vulnerable to an almost random process of leader selection. So ask yourself: 'Am I allowing less talented people to make decisions on my behalf?' If the answer is 'yes', then perhaps you should consider stepping up to the plate yourself. The first step in this process is building up your own self confidence and self esteem. Don't be bashful; there's nothing selfish about developing your own qualities. A community with a rich selection of potential leaders is, in my view, a secure community.

 

Self Esteem: Gain Confidence and Boost Self Esteem in 5 Simple Steps

We all want to become more confident and feel good about ourselves so we can live our very best life. Here are some ways to gain confidence and raise self-esteem:

1. Do something that requires a decision and a follow-through.

Have you been putting off writing that letter to aunt Martha? Is there a friend you've been meaning to call? Wash the car, tidy the garden or clean the house. You'll gain confidence by setting goals (even small ones) and following through on them.

2. Enjoy something you do well.

Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy playing? Some things like going swimming, painting or writing can hold your attention and get you into a state of 'flow'. While you are in the flow you forget about everything else.

Afterwards, you'll feel competent and capable. It's a great way to boost your self-esteem. If you don't have any particular hobbies or pastimes that you enjoy make an effort to try something you've always wanted to try.

Picture yourself doing it, and then give it a try! It doesn't have to be something big - it can be as simple as joining a walking club.

You'll find that you are more centered and happier if you do something that puts you in that flow at least once a week.

3. Shift the focus.

It's been shown that low self-esteem develops hand-in-hand with individuals who put too much focus on themselves. You can gain confidence by doing something that focuses on someone else or even something else.

You'll find that when you are in a situation where you are meeting new people, you immediately become less nervous when you focus on the person you are meeting.

At the end of the day, you've interacted with others and will notice that you feel much lighter.

4. Relax, already!

Learning to become more relaxed is a great life enhancer. People who are more relaxed have fewer problems with their memories and are more likely to take the bumps in the road of life in stride.

The practice of meditation has gained popularity for this reason. You might want to look into Tai Chi, which involves physical relaxation techniques.

Whatever method you decide on, take relaxation seriously. The benefits are just too great to ignore. If you've never considered relaxation important, think of it this way: if you can attend to something that results in feeling good, how can you not gain confidence in your personal abilities?

5. Make a list of everything you've ever accomplished.

Think small. An accomplishment is an accomplishment! Some things you could put on your list: passed my driver's test and got my license, scored a goal when I played hockey, managed to save enough money to go on a trip and so on.

These are just a few ideas you can use to gain confidence and boost your self-esteem. Use these ideas as a base point and add these things permanently in your life.

Keep in mind, people are not born with good self-esteem, most of us have to work at it. It develops from your thinking and the things you do daily to make yourself feel good.

 

Self Esteem: Self Esteem: 8 Universal Laws

The Law of Stuart Smalley

Genuinely strong self-eteem has nothing to do with the Stuart Smalley character on "Saturday Night Live." Smalley was played by talk-show host A1 Franken who looked in the mirror to tell himself "You're good enough,you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you." This is not the kind of namby-pamby-feel-good self-esteem we're talking about.

The Law of Definition

Self-esteem is one of those frequently used terms that we believe we know the meaning of until we are asked to define it. Most folks define it as the way you feel about yourself. The problem is feelings can, and often do, change. The definition I have found most useful of self-esteem is: the strength and power of your belief in your self.

The Law of Ends vs. Means

While working on increasing your self-esteem, remember it's just a means to an end, not the end in and of itself. I've known lots of unsuccessful people, and even people who continually do the wrong thing, and yet they feel good about themselves. Self-esteem is merely a means to the end if increasing the quality of life, for yourself and those around you.

The Law of Company

Self-esteem is strongly influenced by the company you keep. Hang around people with weak self-esteem and yours is likely to be weak as well. And guess what? Hang around people with strong self-esteem, and yours is likely to strengthen as well.

The Law of Blame and Accuse

I've heard so many people say "My self-esteem is low because I'm too this/that, I grew up without this/that and this/that has happened to me." Which usually leads me to wonder what does a person who is too this/that, grew up without this/that, and has had this/that happen to them, DO WITH THE REST OF HIS OR HER LIFE?

The Law of Action

You can learn about self-esteem, read about it, go to seminars, etc., and nothing will change if you don't do something with what you learn. In order to change something, you simply must TAKE ACTION!

The law of NWBG

While NWBG may sound like the name of a rock group, it's really a fast and easy way to measure and mprove your self-esteem. In vertical order, write the letters NWBG, vhich stand for Now-Worst-Best-Goal. Now, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 is the worst and 10 is the best) rate your self-esteem the way it is Now, the Worst it has ever been, the Best it has ever been, and the Goal you would like it to be. This gives you a number next to each of the letters NWBG. If you are like most folks, Now is higher the Worst. This gives us some important information:

How did you get from the worst to where you are now? The answers can be key for further strengthening your selfesteem.

The Law of Higher Math

Now we will do a little higher math in order to strengthen your self-esteem. Take the number for your Goal (let's say 10) and subtract from it the number for now (let's say 4), so it's 6. So that's six levels of selfesteem to travel, which is too big a chunk all at once.

Let's make it manageable by taking one level at a time. What small, simple steps can you begin to take immediately to move you from a four to a five? And then a 5 to a 6, a 6 to a 7, and so on. In this way you can measure your progress as you go, and rather quickly strengthen your self-esteem.

How's that for progress?

 

Self Esteem: How To Raise Self Esteem

One of the most important parts of maintaining good health is having strong, positive self esteem. Remember, you're a really great person. Don't let others get you down. There are many things that are unique and special about you. Do you have any special skills or talents? Write them down and whenever you feel depressed, review your list. This will greatly boost your self esteem.

With that said, here's how to raise self esteem quickly and easily:

First, figure out what you perceive to be your weaknesses and fix them. Do you feel like you don't have enough skills or you aren't special? Find something that you'd like to learn and practice it over and over again. Want to learn how to bowl? Find your local bowling alley and start practicing. Don't worry about what other people think. Want to learn how to improve your writing? Sit down with a couple of good books and analyze the writing style, and then start writing anything that comes to mind. You can do this quickly and easily for as many skills as you'd like.

One of the biggest secrets about how to raise self esteem is learning to see what is hurting you. Many people who have low self esteem have poor friends who insult them and hurt them. Is this the case with you? Do your friends lower your self esteem? If so, get out there and start making new friends. It's a lot easier than it sounds. Most people will be flattered if you sit next to them in public and start chatting. And if you "fail" - that is, they aren't interested - move on to someone else. It happens to the best of us!

Another key about how to raise self esteem is discovering what you're good at and improving it even more. Very few of us consider ourselves to be "masters" at any particular trait or skill, but very good at a lot of things. So, write out another list and figure out what you're truly good at and improve it even more!

Hopefully these quick suggestions will show you how to raise self esteem. If you implement this advice whenever you're feeling down, you should see positive results in just a short time.

 

Area of Control in Life

Quite an interesting analogy I got in my mailbox today and thought I would like to share with you this interesting analogy. Choosing what to focus on in life can indeed make a different in your life.


Every day every second we are bombarded with different incident that need our attention. Have we observed closely how we respond to each incident? I realized there is always 2 areas of focus, that is area within and not within my control. For instance, I might I have taken a wrong route to a destination. By keep blaming myself for taking the wrong route and still feeling bad for the wasted time, I'm focusing on area not within my control as what has happened cannot be reverted through blaming myself. If I spend time revising my route for the return the trip, I will avoid the wrong route, Here I'm focusing on area within my control. Making the
right focus made me more intelligent and more efficient.

For majority of thet people in the world, their main focus is to complete 9 - 6 regular working the same routine every day. I would describe them as tree cutter who would reuse the same axe, even though edges are blunt, cutting tree from morning till evening,. They are focusing on area not within their control as they restrict themselves within a routine. There is another kind of people who spend morning sharpening their axe and cut more trees in the afternoon within a shorter time. The sharper the edge of axe is, the more efficient the work is going to be carried out. They are focus on their sharpening their skill and hence area within their control. Do you belong to first kind of people or second one?

 

The Two Choices We Face

Each of us have two distinct choices to make about what we will do with our lives. The first choice we can make is to be less than we have the capacity to be. To earn less. To have less. To read less and think less. To try less and discipline ourselves less. These are the choices that lead to an empty life. These are the choices that, once made, lead to a life of constant apprehension instead of a life of wondrous anticipation.

And the second choice? To do it all! To become all that we can possibly be.

To read every book that we possibly can. To earn as much as we possibly can. To give and share as much as we possibly can. To strive and produce and accomplish as much as we possibly can. All of us have that choice.

To do or not to do. To be or not to be. To be all, to be less or to be nothing at all.

Like the tree, it would be a worthy challenge for us all to stretch upward and outward to the full measure of our capabilities. Why not do all that we can, every moment that we can, the best that we can, for as long as we can?

Our ultimate life objective should be to create as much as our talent, ability and desire will permit. To settle for doing less than we could do is to fail in this worthiest of undertakings.

Results are the best measurement of human progress. Not conversation. Not explanation. Not justification. Results! And if our results are less than our potential suggests that they should be, then we must strive to become more today than we were the day before. The greatest rewards are always reserved for those who bring great value to themselves and the world around them as a result of who and what they have become.

 

Emotional Balance Is Essential For Healthy Living

Emotional balance is considered mastered when our mind, body and spirit are in line with each other and we are in a space where we have done our inner work and we feel at peace. We need to pay attention that all situations and life issues are resolved, or at least aired, and pay attention to the feelings that emerge from within us.

Many times our emotional balance is ignored and passed off as stress, discomfort, boredom and distraction; and we try and fix it by all sorts of ways that really just don't work. Some of those fix-it methods are eating, eating comfort foods, shopping, sex, gambling, drinking, over working, and the list can go one, and we never get to the core of why we just can't feel better.

Emotional balance is as important as any other health aspect and some times even more, as it can accelerate our other health issues, in fact it can actually be the cause of other health issues. It is one of the most important aspects to the whole body balance.

When you are out of balance it creates stress and conflict in your relationships; and that is all of your relationships, which include family, employment, road rage, marital, friendships and right down to the shopping clerk. So you can see how emotional balance is as important as physical health, in fact even more so as it effects your physical health. You truly can't improve your physical health with out balancing your emotional.

A regular spiritual practice can greatly assist in centering you and maintaining clarity about those aspects of your life, which are truly important. This can be any kind of spiritual practice including yoga, meditation, qi gong, prayer, EFT; it is something good to practice on a daily basis and preferably in the morning and the evening. Feng sui is great for peace and tranquility in the home and work space, as with the proper placement of objects and de-clutter, it creates a calm soothing energy in your space.

If you feel your emotional balance is off, improving your diet is one positive step you can take, your mind, body and spirit can work much closer together if your food intake is in balance, that means eliminating items such as caffeine, sugar, processed foods, soda, alcohol, cigarettes and eating whole, organic foods.

Work on creating a positive outlook and attitude on life, always look for the good in everything and start being grateful, especially when you feel there isn't anything to be grateful for; you can always find something. When you do this it shifts your energy into balance. You will feel lighter, brighter and much more healthy.

The Power of Commitment

Was our failure to succeed really due to a lack of time, some
unlearned skill, or a much deeper self-esteem issue? Well, we could
probably get a great conversation going as to why so many people have
such a difficult time keeping their commitments. However, I would
prefer to offer a simpler solution—a step-by-step approach that will,
in effect, allow you to set, keep, and ultimately achieve any
worthwhile goal you desire...

 "Commitment is doing the thing you said you'd do,
long after the feeling you said it in has passed." Now that's what
keeping your word is all about!

So if "committing to...and then following through" is what you'd like
to do more often, the following five step plan will help you set your
goals and keep your promises, thereby allowing you to ultimately
achieve what's truly important to you...

1) Decide What You Want
Achievers realize some people join the business because they want to
drive a new car; some because they want to earn more money; and some
because they want the extra time needed to enjoy a more rewarding
life. What about you? To stay the course you'll need to be moving
towards something you actually want! After all, part of your journey
is discovering your real why...

2) Know Your "Why?"
True, deciding what you want is your first step, and yet it's only
part of the solution! Therefore, if you really want to set, keep, and
ultimately achieve every worthwhile goal, you'll need to become clear
on why you want what you want. The best part is you'll know when
you've found your "Why" because from that moment on you will do
whatever it takes!

3) Follow A Proven Plan
You either have a proven plan (system or daily method of operation)
you follow, or you don't. If you do, continue moving forward. If you
don't, find someone who has already achieved what you want. Find out
what they did. Do that. And then continue until you achieve the same
result they've already proven was possible. Because it's easier to
keep going when you get results—and it's easier to get results when
you follow a proven plan.

4) Commit Yourself Publicly
After you've decided what you want, discovered why that is important
to you, and are diligently following a proven plan to achieve it,
you're ready for step four: public commitment! Decide in writing that
you will be here, still actively involved, a year from now! On 3" x 5"
cards write out what you want (your goal), followed by a sentence or
two explaining your desire to have this (your "Why?"), and then
include the steps you're taking (your proven plan) to accomplish it...
Give these hand-written cards to 10 people you know, like, and trust,
and would not want to disappoint. Believe me, if you'll do this, you
will follow through.

5) Get Better Every Day
Leaders understand that wherever they are, and wherever they're going,
the journey will be easier if they incorporate a daily personal
development program. So what should yours include? Books, CDs, and
classes. Because when you get better "it" gets easier...

Use this information—all five steps—to guide you and you will be well
on your way to keeping your word and achieving all your dreams. And
that's the real power of commitment!

Top 10 Learnings from Anthony Robbins

Tony Robbins has been an inspiration for millions. Love him and his philosophy or not, it is undeniable that he has had a positive impact on millions of people.

Here are the top 10 lessons that I learned from Tony Robbins Teachings:

 

1) By altering your body's physiology, you can achieve an immediate change of your emotional state. The mind will follow whatever state your phsyical body is in and not vice-versa.

 

2) Ask specific questions of yourself (in your self-talk) to direct and control your attention to the various aspects of the human experience. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions you ask of yourself.

 

3) Get leverage to create personal change by associating an old behavior with massive pain and the desired new behavior with massive pleasure. Tony is a big believer in the pain/pleasure principles of life and this applies in business as well.

 

4) When you get stuck, interupt your limiting pattern by doing something totally unexpected.

 

5) You can condition your behavior by visualizing it over and over again. This is not exactly unique to Tony Robbins, but he does reinforce this message in all of his products.

 

6) Goal-setting strategy: Know your end outcome; Take massive intelligent action; Have sensory-acuity to notice if you are getting the results you desire and if not; change your approach; and change *until* you get your end outcome.

 

7) Create a "Compelling future" by vividly imagining your end result to generate enthusiasm and power within yourself. The past does not equal the future. Find beliefs that support your goals and desires.

 

8) Youth is Power! This is one of Tony's beliefs. Even if you don't have fancy degrees, your youth can still mean power, flexibility and opportunity for your life.

 

9) Principles of CANI! CANI stands for Constant And Never-ending Improvement. It's a basic tenet of Tony Robbins.

 

10) NLP can be useful. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and there are many NLP undertones in Tony's basic tenets. He went on to morph NLP into his own technology called "NAC" (Neuro Associative Conditioning) .

 

The seven ways to sniff out if your partner is true to you.

The seven ways to sniff out if your partner is true to you.

 

 

Washington, Oct 25 (ANI):

 Not sure if your partner is true to you?

 Well, then here are a few signs

 that may help sniff out whether he/she is lying or not.

 

 

 

Here are seven ways to identify a liar, reports FoxNews.

 

1. Consider the person's recall:

 Liars never forget what they have to say ,

but they may stumble when telling a tale by making contradicting statements. They're also eager to change the subject.

 

 

2. Observe the person's overall body language:

 Liars can look ill at ease, fiddling with their hair, stroking their throat, or rubbing their eyes. With their body often turned away from you,

you may notice hand or leg fidgeting. Liars also have trouble swallowing and may shake their heads after a point has been made.

 When the subject finally gets changed, they appear happier and more comfortable, maybe laughing nervously.

 

 

3.Take notice of any defensiveness:

 Liars will often take offence to any indication that they're under suspicion. They're likely to throw any accusations you throw at them back at you.

They will also talk too much,

 feeling the need to over-explain themselves.

 

 

 

4. Home in on facial expressions:

 Liars fail to control their micro-expressions.

While fibbing, you may notice nervous twitching.

Their hand may be covering or touching their face.

 People also tend to touch the mouth when feeling guilty or anxious.

They're particularly good with fake smiles.

 

 

5. Don't overlook the Pinocchio reaction:

 When a human tells a lie, extra blood gets pumped through the body

and the nose swells by a fraction of millimeter.

 Liars may subsequently touch the tip of their nose unconsciously.

 

6. Concentrate on the eyes:

A liar has a troubled brow and downcast or darting eyes.

 They have trouble directly engaging your gaze.

They also give you eye-accessing clues.

 If the person is telling you the truth, he'll look up and to the left since that's the side of the brain we use for recalling information.

 If she's lying, she'll look up and to the right,

 which is the creative side of the brain, because she's mentally constructing something that hasn't happened.

 

 

 

 

 

7. Note the person's voice:

 The higher the stakes are, the more the liar has a fear of getting caught.

 With this, the liar has a harder time controlling his body language or her voice. The pitch or rate of the speech may change,

with the individual giving a lot of "umms" and "ahhs."

 Often, a liar will appear stilted and monotone.

 Answers may seem rehearsed.

The Secrets... and The Power.....

* The First Secret: The power of Love.
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help recognize him or her when you meet.

* The Second Secret: The power of Respect.
You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself,
"What do I respect about myself? " To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, "What do I respect about them?"

* The Third Secret: The power of Giving.
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and
unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of you can take.

* The Fourth Secret: The power of Friendship.
To find true love you must first find a true friend. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are not what they look like. Friendship is the
soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.


* The Fifth Secret: The power of Touch.
Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and
makes us more receptive to love.

* The Sixth Secret: The power of Letting go.
If you love something, let it be free. Even in a loving relationship, people need their space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive
and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions.


* The Seventh Secret: The power of Communication.
To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know; that you love and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say, "I love you." Never let an opportunity pass to praise and acknowledge someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word ... it could be the last time you see them.


* The Eighth Secret: The power of Commitment.
If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile
relationship from a strong, loving one.


* The Ninth Secret: The power of Passion.

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive.. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone. It comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. The essence of love and happiness are the same, all we need to do is to live each day with passion.


* The Tenth Secret: The power of Trust.
You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. Trust is essential in
all loving relationships. Trust yourself, trust others and trust the world. It is the foundation for LOVE. 

 

Never save something for that Special Day

Please do read this ... do not be too busy Earning a Living and in the process Forget to Live. Here is a hair raising story which shows the importance of Time Management and understanding what Life and Priorities are all about.

Trust you will enjoy the read and start Living each day.. each moment...!!!

A friend of mine opened his wife's saree drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:

"This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package." He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

"She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on. Was saving it for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said:

"Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life.

Now I read more and clean less.

I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.

I spend more time with my family, and less at work.

I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.

I no longer keep anything.

I use crystal glasses every day.

I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it.

I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary.

If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now.

I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.

She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.

I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food.

It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.

I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... letters that i wanted to write "One of this days".

I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brothers and sons, not times enough at least, how much I love them.

Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives.

And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day.

Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.

If you got this, it's because someone cares for you and because, probably, there's someone you care about.

If you're too busy to send this out to other people and you say to yourself that you will send it "One of these days", remember that

"One day" is far away... or might never come...

Live everyday .. every moment as if it is your last day... last moment....!!!!

Keep the Spark..Chetan Bhagat

Keep the Spark

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program 2008

© Chetan Bhagat

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn’t any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement.

But it isn’t the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won’t be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday?

They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature’s design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.

I must add, don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school. Where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don’t take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don’t be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I’ve told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you.

But it’s life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be.

Disappointment’s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don’t know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release.

Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts , having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you.

In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty darn lucky by Indian standards. Let’s be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don’t. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don’t get literary praise. It’s ok. I don’t look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It’s ok. Don’t let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I’ve told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, you eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

Thank You.

 

40 Tips for a Better Life

40 Tips for a Better Life

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk,
smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Go to bed earlier and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following:
'Today, my primary purpose is to __________.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did
last year.

7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer.
They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under
the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat
less food that is manufactured or packaged in factories.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries,
wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and
let new energy flow into your life.

14. Don't waste your energy on gossip, issues of the past,
negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead
invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear
and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you
learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner
like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE
BLUES away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You won't win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea
what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words:
'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your
business.

28. Remember, God heals everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. Or email them to death!

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following:
I am thankful for __________.
Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so
make the most of every moment, every single day.

40. Please share this with those you care about.

May your troubles be less,
May your blessings be more,
May nothing but happiness come through your door!

 

Travelling Through Life

Here are Tips from Dr. John C. Maxwell, recognized Leadership expert, where he gave 10 solid tips for traveling through life.

Traveling Through Life – Dr.John C. Maxwell

Tip #1: Travel Light. - You can always tell the difference between an experienced traveler and a new one… by the size of their luggage. John mentioned that too many people travel through life with a lot of emotional baggage, which they’ve not yet learned to let go.

Traveling light is about finding your priorities… carrying only the essential stuff… Oh yes… and asking for forgiveness along the way.

Tip #2: Take someone with you - Life is about relationships. Isn’t it awfully lonely to travel through life alone?

Maybe you’ve been hurt before, but that doesn’t mean that you should close your heart. It only means that you know the characteristics you don’t want in a partner/friend.

Let time heal your heart and then find someone to travel through life with.

Tip #3: Follow The Road Map - Have a game plan. If you do not know where you are going, then how can you hope to get there?

It is important to know where you are (A) by doing self-reflection everyday and where you want to go (B) by setting goals… but do not succumb to “destination disease”. Life is not only about reaching B. Life HAPPENS between A and B! Enjoy the journey…

Tip #4: Take The High Road -”Those who are instruments of grace to others become recipients of grace to themselves”.

John talks about the necessity of having a life stance - your overall frame of reference - your attitude, assumptions and expectations of yourself, others around you and life.

Taking the high road means that you do not keep score. You learn to forgive others and do your best to help the people around you.

Tip #5: Stop And Ask For Directions -Most people are too stubborn or proud to do that. They would rather go around in circles than stop to ask someone for directions.

Remember that no matter the direction you are heading, it’s very likely that someone else has already been there and done that. Be prepared to ask for advice… and shortcut your learning curve.

Tip #6: Make A U-Turn When Needed -”Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” You can’t turn back time when you have made a mistake… but you can change directions and make a U-turn before it’s too late.

Sometimes, we may find ourselves headed into a dead end… the sooner we realize we have to make a change and do it, the more likely we will find ourselves back on a safe route.

Remember… not changing when you have to may lead to death!

Tip #7: Appreciate The Detours - Life is not a smooth one way street. Along the way, you will meet obstacles and challenges. Appreciate and learn to take the detours.

I love the way John reframed “Problems”. He said that problems are…

Predictors

Reminders

Opportunities

Blessings

Lessons

Everywhere

Messages

Solvable

Could you see how that can be really empowering?

Tip #8: Take Pictures - Create Memories.

John suggests that you should….

Work like you don’t need the money

Dance like no one is watching

Sing like no one is listening

Love like you’ve never been hurt

Live like it’s heaven on earth

How beautiful is that?

Tip #9: Travel The Extra Mile - And then some…Who knows what you would find in that extra mile? Another adventure… A beautiful sight… A lovely encounter… An enchanting lover…

Go the extra mile… it may be worth the whole journey.

Tip #10: Stop To Smell The Roses - Remember not to rush though life… Take some time out to appreciate its beauty… Enjoy the butterflies’ dance… and last but not least, be grateful… for everyone and everything in your life.