Friends Forever

What is the difference between family and friends? That we are born within the former and we can choose the latter. A great opportunity I would say, to choose a circle of like-minded people to hang out with, to share with and to stand by to. A friendless life is often a boring and lonely one. So it is not only important to choose your friends with care but also to nurture the friendships you cherish and value.

It can be so difficult to find real friends in this increasingly world of the make-belief and so easy to lose them owing to the gruelling busy schedules most of us keep. Where lifelong friendships are increasingly becoming a thing of the past, you need to take extra care if you wish to have and keep true friends, who will stand by you no matter what.

• While it may seem important to share a likeness in values and principles with friends, sometimes life pairs us with unlikely people in varied situations whom we start liking over a period of time and become good friends with. For example, a new co-worker who is made to sit next to you, whom you get close to over a period of time. Between friends with a little dissimilarity in tastes and philosophies it is especially important to practice a non-judgmental attitude and respect the other's beliefs and principles. It is very important to have an open mind here.

• Loyalty, honesty and reliability in a friendship are givens that can never go out of fashion! These are the very qualities that differentiate a friendship from mere acquaintanceship. Once a friend has confided something to you in true confidence, never ever catch yourself talking about it to others. And feel free to expect the same out of your friend!

• Like in any other relationship, sometimes misunderstandings may crop up among close friends too. If you truly value your friendship, it is very important to keep a two-way channel of communication open, especially at times like these. While the hallmark of a good friendship is openness and frankness, so much so that you can feel free to open the deepest corners of your heart to them, close human relationships are sometimes as fragile as they are strong. Be sensitive when pointing out mistakes or shortcomings to your friends. You may me doing it in a constructive manner, but realise you may be prone to making errors of judgment too. It is important to communicate on an even platform with a friend and not assume a superior or inferior stature in the relationship.

• As you expect your friend to be there for you when you wish to pour your heart out regarding a bad day at work or a boyfriend/girlfriend problem, be prepared for your turn to do the same for your friend. It's so important to be a good listener yourself if you expect the same out of your friend. Also, be focused when your friend seeks your advice or support. Empathy is a very important quality to be able to maintain meaningful friendships in your life.

• They say trying times are the real test of a friendship. It can be equally true in an opposite scenario, when one of you may be doing better in life than the other. At these times if you find jealousy rearing its ugly head between the two of you, maybe it is time to say adieu to a friendship that never was!

• You cannot afford to take your friends for granted, no matter how long or deep the friendship. Always seek each other's opinion when involved in a situation together. Also, call your friends at least once a week even if you are busy. And however hard pressed for time you may be, you absolutely must be there for a friend if they are involved in a crisis situation – a heartache, problems with their family, death of a loved one, serious illness, etc.

• To keep the friendship going like a well-oiled machine, it is also important to lend a helping hand when your friend is hard pressed for time. Offering to run an errand, babysitting their children, etc. will lighten their load and help cement your bond.

• In friendships there is also a fine line between too much and too little. While you may think you are being helpful, sometimes you may be impinging on your friend's privacy. It is not always necessary that you need to know everything or be part of everything that they do. Don't breath down their necks and create a situation that makes your friends feel like they need to avoid you.