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Layers Of Feeling - Coping With Passive Aggression

Many people are taught from a young age to suppress feelings commonly regarded as negative, such as anger, resentment, fear, and sorrow.

Those who cannot or will not express these emotions tend to engage in passive-aggressive behaviours that provide them with a means of redirecting their feelings.

Passive aggression can take many forms: People who feel guilty saying “no” may continually break their promises because they couldn't’t say no when they meant it.

Others will substitute snide praise for a slur to distance themselves from the intense emotions they feel.

More often than not, such behaviour is a cry for help uttered by those in need of compassion and gentle guidance.

When we recognise passive-aggressive patterns in the behaviour of others, we should never allow ourselves to be drawn into a struggle for power.

Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless in the face of what they perceive as negative emotions because they hope to avoid confronting their true feelings.

They feel they are in control because they do not display overt emotion and often cannot understand how they have alienated their peers.

If someone close to us shows signs of frustration or annoyance but claims nothing is amiss, we can point out that their tone of voice or gestures are communicating a different message and invite them to confide in us.

When we feel slighted by a backhanded compliment, it is important that we calmly explain how the jibe made us feel and why.

And when an individual continually breaks their promises, we can help them understand that they are free to say no if they are unwilling to be of service.

As you learn to detect passive aggression, you may be surprised to see a hint of it in yourself.

Coping with the natural human tendency to veil intense emotions can be as simple as reminding yourself that expressing your true feelings is healthy.

The emotions typically regarded as negative will frequently be those that inspire you to change yourself and your life for the better, whereas passive-aggressive behaviour is a means of avoiding change.

When you deal constructively with your feelings, you can put them behind you and move forward unencumbered by unexplored emotion.

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He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember.

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.

It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself.

A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.

People always call it luck when you have acted more sensibly than they have.

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Drop the question what tomorrow may bring, and count as profit everyday that fate allows you.

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.

A suspicious mind always looks on the black side of things.

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.

Be silent as to services you have rendered, but speak of favours you have received.

It is not what we eat ,but what we digest ,that makes us strong;


not what we gain ,,but what we save ,that make us rich;

not what we read ,but what we remember,that makes us learned;

and not what we profess ,but what we practise ,that gives us Integrity.



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